My husband cheerily suggested over breakfast that we take the kids to the Golden Gate Kennel Club’s All Breed Dog Show Best at the Cow Palace this weekend.  “It will be fun and besides it’s a good place to go to get out of the rain.” He says supportively. “No good can come of this,” I reply ominously, crushing a glimmer of helpfulness in my long-suffering husband.  “I now see a puppy in our future.”  Both kids cheer.

Yes, the family is off to the blue ribbon of dog shows tomorrow and as you may tell, I was not entirely gung-ho about it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs.  In fact, one has been living with us for the past 11 years and he has slowly grown on us.  Now that we have finally paid off his medical care costs (for dealing with his separation anxiety, jealousy towards our children and his inappropriate consumption of what I would call “foreign matter”), he is quite fun to be around.  I even enjoy our walks together – even when he doesn’t.  Still, the thought of dealing with a brand NEW dog or (worse yet) days and days of the kids shamelessly begging for one doesn’t exactly fill me with joy.  Can we get a puppy, please?  I promise to walk it every day.  Please, please, please.  I’ll do anything.  I can already hear the endless pleading and wailing sobs.  Still, I am determined to put on a brave face and make the most of this doomed expedition. 

At the very least, I can assume my role as “amateur investigative blogger” and dig up some juicy material for my next blog.  Perhaps I will return with some astonishing insight into the inner workings of the dog show world or at least get answers to my burning questions like:  Why do dogs look so much like their owners?  Are the best of the best trained to answer to their full pedigree name of Foo Yan Chi Alfred Mayor III, or can you just call them Fred? Does the entire Cow Palace smell of dog pee, or, after 105 years of staging the event, have they built some dog bathrooms to go with their human counterparts?  Perhaps most importantly, at least in gambling circles: is it possible for a complete dog newbie (such as myself) to spot a “for sure” Best In Show champion from instinct alone?

My guess, especially for the last question, is a definite 'No' answer, but I'm up for giving it a try - why not?  Of course, my next blog may be as scintillating as watching paint dry on a wall but what the heck.  This blog has already gone to the dogs.  In the meantime, let me know if there's something you've always wondered about the culture or convention of the great american dog show and I will try to sniff it out for you.  Just call me moveovermommy unleashed!